Simple Funny Jokes for Special Needs
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Take y'all ever started to tell a joke merely to forget the punchline halfway through? While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing upward a adept joke, especially if information technology'due south 1 of the funniest jokes of all time. Sometimes yous need to get a quick express mirth on demand and what better style to exercise it than with one of these short jokes? Yous can pull these out of your dorsum pocket when you're in need of something funny on the fly along with the funniest one-liners, some "what do you phone call?" jokes, and even something to get the small-scale folks giggling with these brusk jokes for kids.
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What'southward the best matter about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
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I invented a new word!
Plagiarism!
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Did you hear about the mathematician who'south agape of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Why practise we tell actors to "pause a leg?"
Because every play has a cast. Here are some dark jokes to check out if you have a morbid sense of sense of humor.
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."
RELATED:Bar Jokes
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving petty messages effectually the house. Don't miss these hilarious egg puns that volition absolutely cleft yous up.
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Knock! Knock!
Who'southward there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, "Control Freak who?"
9 / 102
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu: You become what you deserve.
10 / 102
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Tin't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are simply contractions."
RELATED:Dad Jokes
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A bear walks into a bar and says, "Requite me a whiskey and … cola."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The acquit shrugged. "I'g not sure; I was built-in with them."
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Did you hear well-nigh the thespian who roughshod through the floorboards?
He was merely going through a phase.
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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He only needed a little infinite.
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Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make upwards everything.
RELATED: Biology Jokes
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Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
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How practise you lot drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.
RELATED: Mom Jokes
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What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business organisation!
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How does Moses make tea?
He brews.
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Why can't you explicate puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
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How do you lot keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on information technology.
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A homo tells his doctor, "Doc, assistance me. I'g addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don't follow you …"
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What kind of exercise do lazy people practice?
Diddly-squats.
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Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
26 / 102
What practice you lot call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.
RELATED: Work-from-Abode Jokes
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What does Charles Dickens go along in his spice rack?
The all-time of thymes, the worst of thymes.
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What's the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the finish of paws; A comma is a break at the end of a clause. Don't forget to bookmark these other "what's the deviation between" jokes that volition crack you upward.
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Why should the number 288 never exist mentioned?
It's two gross.
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What did the Can Human being say when he got run over by a steamroller?
"Curses! Foil again!"
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What did the baldheaded human being exclaim when he received a rummage for a present?
Thanks— I'll never part with information technology!
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
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What did the left eye say to the right middle?
Between you and me, something smells.
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What exercise y'all telephone call a false noodle?
An impasta.
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How exercise yous make a tissue trip the light fantastic toe?
Put a little boogie in it.
RELATED:Dentist Jokes
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What did the 0 say to the eight?
Nice belt!
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What do y'all call a pony with a coughing?
A piddling horse.
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What did one hat say to the other?
You wait hither. I'll get on a caput. If you loved this, you'll go a kick out of these domestic dog puns.
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What exercise y'all telephone call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.
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What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a trivial funny.
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What'south orangish and sounds like a carrot?
A parrot.
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
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What practice y'all call a woman with 1 leg?
Eileen.
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Yeah matey.
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45 / 102
Why did the frog have the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.
47 / 102
What is an astronaut's favorite part on a figurer?
The space bar.
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Why did the yogurt go to the fine art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
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What exercise you telephone call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse lawmaking.
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Why did the hipster burn down his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.
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One time my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving niggling messages around the house.
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I told my married woman she was cartoon her eyebrows as well loftier.
She looked at me surprised.
RELATED:Funny Relatable Tweets
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Did yous hear well-nigh the ii people who stole a calendar?
They each got half-dozen months.
54 / 102
What's Forest Gump'southward countersign?
1Forest1.
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Where does Batman go to the bathroom?
The batroom.
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Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Considering he lost his filling.
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What exercise yous become from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
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Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
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What breed of dog tin can leap college than buildings?
Any dog, considering buildings tin't leap.
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How many times can you decrease ten from 100?
Once. The next time you lot would be subtracting 10 from 90.
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Why did the M&M go to schoolhouse?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
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Why do bees take sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
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How does a rabbi brand his coffee?
Hebrews information technology.
65 / 102
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I tin't wait to see her face calorie-free upwards when she opens it.
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I poured root beer in a square glass.
Now I just have beer.
67 / 102
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
They don't come across the koalafications.
68 / 102
Rest in peace to boiling water.
Y'all will be mist.
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What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
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Why did the nurse need a ruddy pen at work?
In instance she needed to draw blood.
RELATED:Funny Parenting Tweets
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How practice you throw a infinite party?
You lot planet.
RELATED:Infinite Puns
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The numbers 19 and xx got into a fight.
21.
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Why did it get so hot in the baseball game stadium after the game?
All of the fans left.
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What practise you telephone call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
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Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?
It needed assist figuring out its problems.
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Why tin't male person ants sink?
They're beacon-ant.
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Want to hear a construction joke?
Oh never mind, I'm still working on that 1.
78 / 102
Talk is cheap?
Have you ever talked to a lawyer?
RELATED:Plant Puns
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Why did the gym close down?
It just didn't work out!
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Two artists had an fine art contest.
It ended in a draw!
81 / 102
I tried to sue the drome for misplacing my baggage.
I lost my case.
82 / 102
I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I am slowly getting over it.
83 / 102
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
84 / 102
What did ane traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking! I'thousand irresolute!
85 / 102
What type of sandals do frogs habiliment?
Open-toad!
86 / 102
Why was half dozen afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come dorsum?
A stick!
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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
Envelope.
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Why doesn't the sun get to college?
Because it has a million degrees!
90 / 102
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
91 / 102
Why are skeletons then at-home?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
92 / 102
Why is England the wettest state?
Because so many kings and queens take been reigning in that location.
93 / 102
Did you hear near the kidnapping at schoolhouse?
It's okay. He woke up.
94 / 102
What are shark's two most favorite words?
Man overboard!
95 / 102
Tin can February march?
No, but Apr may.
96 / 102
Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
The baa baa store!
97 / 102
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Considering they are easy to see through.
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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great autumn.
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Where exercise fish sleep?
In the riverbed.
RELATED: Fish Puns
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How practice copse become online?
They just log on!
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What exercise you telephone call a bear with no teeth?
A sticky bear.
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Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted. At present that you've learned 101 new brusk jokes to share with your friends, cheque out these archetype Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten everyone's day.
Originally Published: May 25, 2021
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/short-jokes/
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